HEART ILLNESS: ADULT CHILDREN OF HEART PATIENTS
The adult children of heart patients are perhaps the best hidden of all the victims of heart illness. The majority of heart patients in the United States have adult children, most of whom live within a two-hour drive of their parents.
Many of these grown children become the primary emotional (and, often, physical) caretakers of their parents as the parents begin dealing with the debilitating effects of aging or illness. As a result, many grown children become caught in a web of family stress during that in-between stage of life that involves attempting to create a new family and career while trying at the same time to remain loyal and loving to one's first family.
Remaining lovingly connected with one's family throughout life is certainly a healthy—and a recommended—way of living. So why all this talk about adult children as "victims" of the stress of heart illness? The unfortunate truth is that many adult children do not choose to be lovingly connected with their aging parents; they feel compelled to do so out of some deep sense of guilt and concern. These uncomfortable feelings often fuel poor choice making for the children, resulting in their becoming involved with their original family in ways that actually interfere with their own adult lives. Furthermore, this involvement by adult children in their parents' struggles may help cover up problems within the parents' relationship that need to be addressed.
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